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A Short 1998 Christmas Tale

Belated Christmas Remembrance

For me, Christmas always had a surreal bent, but it acquired an even more surreal element when a former ladyfriend narrated to me how she was deflowered in a Christmas tree.

Not next to, not in front of... no, apparently the urge of the deflowerer was such that it thrust both of them into the tree itself.

Thus, pine needles were painfully burrowing themselves into her skin as she was probably expected to feel rapture for being "touched for the very first time" [1]. Apparently, he neither noticed nor cared.

She never got around to explain whether she dumped that insensitive s.o.b. right away, but for her benefit, I will assume she did.

[1] Quoted with apologies to Ms. Madonna, who insists that her song "Like A Virgin" is not about a big dong, as Mr. Tarantino once suggested.

Do you have a sordid defloration story of your own? Mail it to me, please (anonymity guaranteed)!

This Thought: © MOATMAI (Christmas 1998)

Previous heretic thought: Grow Up, Already!
More heretic thoughts: Hating The Pet Shop Boys

More Heresies

No Afterlife for me, please: Against Life After Death

Don't ask how I'm doing; you don't want to know: Too Much Honesty

It's all Steven Spielberg's fault: Grow Up, Already

A true, if indiscreet, story: Christmas In A Tree

A musical obsession: Hating the Pet Shop Boys

Yet another opinion about Littleton: The Devil Made Them Do It

Spider-Man, The Early Years: Everything A Spider Can

Babies in Airplanes, Oh My: The Screamer

About the Terrorist Attack on New York and Washington: Terrorizing People

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